Redefining BEAUTY

“When you react, you let others control you. When you respond, you are in control.” ― Bohdi Sanders

A man once said to me, “You must be emotional.” Now my immediate thought was “No, I am not emotional!” Like most women, I was very quick to insist that I was definitely not emotional. I did this because I associated emotional with weakness and instability. However, the reality is I am emotional. I feel everything deeply. Whether I am happy, sad, excited or surprised, I tend to display a significant amount of emotion. In fact, most of our lives are filled with emotions. The dictionary defines “emotions” as  a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. See Oxford Dictionary. 

In my Mediation Class, I learned that contrary to our beliefs, most of our decisions are made from an emotional state rather than a logical state of mind. Human beings are made to be emotional. Even the most logical and rational of us still use emotions as we navigate through different situations daily. Emotions are very powerful. This is why we need to accept and learn to control our emotions. Just like a fire, emotions can either help us walk in the right path or negatively impact our lives/our relationships.

“Emotions are very powerful. This is why we need to accept and learn to control our emotions.”

With this knowledge, I am focused on learning how to control my emotions. Here are some things I have learned thus far:

  1. Emotions are beautiful: I love the fact that I feel everything deeply because it reminds me of my humanity. It allows me to love another person with reckless abandon.
  2. Your emotions belong to you: You are allowed to feel whatever you feel in that moment. I am a masters student that works 2-3 jobs. I cry a LOT! If you need to laugh, cry, yell or whatever, make sure you release those feelings!
  3. Embrace the moment and then let it go: When you feel negative emotions, be sure to not use it to harm another individual. And once the moment passes, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. See Ephesians 4:26
  4. Never React, Always Respond: You should be the only one in control of your emotions! Never allow external forces to control how you feel. We are not guaranteed a life without sorrow, however, we have to power to choose our response.

Emotional Intelligence is important in becoming a better version of yourself. When you learn to control your emotions, you give yourself an opportunity to excel in your professional and personal life. I challenge you to acknowledge your emotions and then determine the best response in each situation. Remember, you are ALWAYS in control of your emotions!

Much Love,


“Eventually, I decided my passion was greater than my fear of failing. I acknowledged my fear but I did not let it hold me captive.”- Deborah Queen

Have you ever had a dream so big it seemed almost impossible?

When I discovered I was selected as Miss Nigeria, I simply sat there looking at the letter in shock. There was no way this was happening. I could not actually believe they picked me. My heart raced and I panicked. I was bombarded with the what-ifs. What if they mistakenly sent me a letter? What if I cannot afford to get to DC? What if the judges don’t believe in Redefining BEAUTY Movement? After praying and talking to my family and friends, I realized that this is the moment I had hoped for 5 years. Eventually, I decided my passion was greater than my fear of failing. I acknowledged my fear but I did not let it hold me captive. My dream was actually happening and I decided to passionately dive in. So hello world! I am Deborah Queen, your Miss Nigeria 2016 and here is why I want to become the next Miss Africa USA!

I aspire to become the next Miss Africa USA because I am a proud African woman who believes in diplomacy and I would like to promote my platform “Redefining BEAUTY”. To me, BEAUTY stands for Becoming Educated Artistic and Understanding Towards Yourself”.  At the age of 17, I developed this platform to encourage myself as well as other young women to dream and actively pursue their passions. I have held several workshops at Texas State, Houston and Dallas where I further explain the concept of Redefining BEAUTY.

After holding a number of workshops, I began writing my first book on Redefining BEAUTY which will be published next year. As a young African woman, I have dealt with my share of negativity towards my skin, sense of beauty and being accepted as a woman of color. I am redefining beauty by pursing my educational career at Texas State University where I anticipate graduating May 2017 with a Masters in Legal Studies, Paralegal Certificate and Mediation Certificate. Also, I promote creativity through coaching, teaching dance and art. Lastly, I have been able to embrace myself wholeheartedly and I am becoming everything God created me to be.

Through this platform, I firmly believe I can inspire a generation of powerful women who will influence the world. I envisioned sharing Redefining BEAUTY on a national platform and I believe the Miss Africa USA pageant is the perfect opportunity! What better place to talk about BEAUTY than at a beauty pageant!

So what are you waiting for? Join the redefining BEAUTY Movement today!

Want to support?

Please consider investing in my vision!


Much Love,


The Redefining BEAUTY Movement: Becoming Educated Artistic and Understanding Towards Yourself.

What is Redefining BEAUTY?
It a movement that encourages women to deviate from societies perverted view of beauty by “Becoming Educated Artistic and Understanding Towards Yourself.”
It is a movement for women of all race, ethnicity, culture, shape and sizes! Because God designed YOU to be uniquely beautiful.

This movement is designed to enable and equip young women to impact the world. I hold workshops to educate and encourage individuals to understand the concept of embracing authentic beauty.

1. Education: Promote the power of education and creating awareness and opportunities for those who are less privileged.

“The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education.”- Martin Luther King, Jr.

2. Artistic: Promote creativity and uniqueness through self exploration and their God given talent.

“To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it.”- Osho

3. Understanding Towards Yourself: Promote personal development, self-confidence and self-love through positive understanding of self.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”-Maya Angelou

In my workshop, participants have an opportunity to learn about the power of education, creativity and self understanding. Once completed, I believe participants will leave with a new sense of purpose to become the best version of themselves.

Workshops coming soon!

Much love,


If you follow me on snapchat, you’ve probably heard this phrase before. It has been a year since I started my #teamgetabootyordietrying challenge and I am definitely on my way to building a booty that fits my body. Recently, I have received comments from many friends and random people who wanted to know what I have been doing to get my booty right and tight. I decided to provide some information on what exercises I include in my  workout. DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a certified trainer.

Here are some of the exercises I practice to develop my booty:

1. Squats:


2. Donkey Kicks:

Donkey kicks-jamie-watling

3. Fire Hydrant:

fire hydrant

4. Dead-lifts:


5. Plank kick back:


6. Chair Step Up:

chair 1

7. Reverse Lunges

reverse lunges

For each of these exercises, I did the following reps based on the level I was most comfortable with. I am a huge fan of HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training). I only take 5-10 secs breaks in between sets and 30 seconds between each round.

Beginner: 3 sets of 10 reps (On each leg)

Intermediate: 4 sets of 12 reps (On each leg)

Advanced: 4 sets of 15 reps (On each leg)

STRETCH once you complete workout.

I hope this helps you get an idea of what my booty workouts entail. I am currently working on providing a thorough list on my total body workout. Stay tuned for more! If you are on the #teamgetabootyordietrying, let me know what exercises you practice in your workout routine!

Much love,



“Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.”- Anthony J. D’Angelo

Congratulations Class of 2020! You are only a few weeks away from beginning your college career! Wo-hoo! I spent a significant amount of time this summer giving New Student Orientation presentations where I provided incoming freshmen with vital information on how to successfully go through their first year in college. I decided to share a few things I learned from my freshman year based on the student’s questions and my work experience.

  1. You have to want to be here.

Over the past few years of working with college students, I have learned that most students don’t know exactly why they’re here. I’m not referring to a specific major but I’m talking about the reason they chose to pursue higher education. Below are the most common responses I get when I ask the question everyone dreads…”Why are you here?”:

a. “My parents told me I have to.”

b. “My significant other is here.”

c.”My friends were going so I thought I should too.”

d.”Everyone says going to college leads to a bigger pay check.”

e. “I don’t know.”

Now, I’m not saying these reasons aren’t valid. However, I noticed that none of these reasons have to do with the individual speaking. When considering higher education, you have to make that choice for yourself. I say this because learning is very difficult. It requires discipline, focus and goal setting. All of these things come from within. When you say yes to college, do it because you want to be here.

  1. Make a mission statement.

This literally saved my life. Once you’ve figured out why you chose to pursue a college degree, write it down! Write it on paper, in a journal or go ahead and make a vision board. This is absolutely necessary because you need to be reminded often about why you made the decision during the rough times. This helps to motivate you and it serves as an encouragement especially when you need it the most. Personally, I have a vision board that I look at every morning. This allows me to stay focused and be prepared for the storm (For example, when all my professors assign projects/midterms in the same week).

  1. You most definitely cannot do it alone.

We all need support! Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Most universities have resources such as tutoring and mentoring to help you succeed. A significant number of people don’t utilize these pre-paid resources due to lack of knowledge. If you don’t know, make an effort to search, ask and keep looking until you’ve found answers. Remember you are paying thousands of dollars to learn so make sure you’re getting your money’s worth! NOTE: If you are a Texas State student, visit PACE to learn more about the resources we have for first year students.

  1. Don’t study to pass a test, study to learn.

It is very unfortunate that our high school education has failed to teach us how to learn. Most students in high school believe learning in primarily about tests because majority of what they do is study for a series of standardized tests. However, this approach will not work in college because the material you cover is much more complex and based on application. In my experience, when I studied to learn the material, I was able to retain the information more successfully. Once you shift your focus from passing a test to learning what you’re reading, you will find that your grades will improve because you actually understand what you’re reading!

  1. Join an organization.

Most colleges are composed of people from very diverse backgrounds. Joining an organization gives you a chance to learn more about others who are different from you. Also, students who drop out of college after their first semester typically leave because of loneliness and homesickness. Your organization can help with this issue because you get a chance to create lasting bonds with other students. Also, you get a sense of family by being a part of something greater than yourself.

  1. Volunteer!

I cannot stress this enough! Volunteering changed my life. It gave me a new perspective on life because it gives you an opportunity to do something that impacts another person’s life in a tremendous way. During my undergrad at Texas State, I was one of the 4000 volunteers who were a part of Bobcat Build, a service project that gave back to the San Marcos community during the spring semester. This community service project allowed me to connect with the people of San Marcos. Giving back always feels good and it puts a smile in your heart!

  1. Make sleeping a priority

Getting sufficient sleep is a necessity when planning for productivity. You will notice that getting up for morning classes is not as easy as it was in high school. When you’re constantly tired, your days will be longer and less productive. Use this time to form healthy sleeping habits that leave you feeling refreshed and motivated!

  1. Learn to love yourself

When I was a freshman in college, I had just gotten out of a relationship that left me confused about who I was. After a few weeks of praying and crying, I made the conscious decision to learn to love myself. It was during this time I developed my platform “Redefining BEAUTY” (Becoming Educated, Artistic and Understanding Towards Yourself). I focused on becoming everything I was by walking deeper in my faith, exploring my creativity and being patient with myself. Today, this motto has inspired me to grow into a young woman who is confident and content.

I hope you found these tips relevant as you proceed towards your new life as a college student! I support your life and I believe in you. Make sure you have fun, grow and most importantly build a community within your university.

Much love,


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“You have the ability to choose which way you want to go. You have to believe great things are going to happen in your life. Do everything you can – prepare, pray and achieve – to make it happen.”- Ben Carson

You have a choice. Regardless of your circumstances, you always have the ability to choose your path. I believe you can either let you dreams remain as mere thoughts or you can passionately execute your dreams and turn them into a reality. It is important to emphasize this because more times than often, we are quick to throw in the towel.

We have dreams, ideas, aspirations and yet we fail to see them through. Although the journey to greatness is long and hard, you cannot sleep on your dreams! In my few years of walking this earth, I have met several people who simply talk about their dreams but will never invest as little as two minutes into making their dreams a reality.

Now, I must confess that I have also been a victim of ignoring my dream. The truth is pursuing your passion can be extremely scary. I mean you have this incredible dream and you have to turn it into a reality. That is one heck of a responsibility! Who wouldn’t be scared? I remember when I decided I wanted to become a lawyer, I was extremely terrified. This was because I was bombarded by the what-ifs. What if I fail the LSAT? What if I never get accepted into any law schools? What if I cannot afford it? Eventually, I decided my passion was greater than my fear of failing. I acknowledged my fear but I did not let it hold me captive. Instead, I developed a plan and I am currently working towards my goal of becoming a lawyer.

“Eventually, I decided my passion was greater than my fear of failing.”

Are you ready to stop talking about it and start making some moves? Look no further! Here are some steps I take in order to turn my dreams into a reality:

1. Create your passion: I do not know what your passion is but you will never figure it out until you begin searching. You must be willing to take the time to ask questions and educate yourself. Explore! Do not be afraid to try new things. Go to that dance class you have always wanted to go to. Read that article about culinary arts. Take up that unpaid internship. Whatever you are interested in, you must get up and learn more about it!

2. Plan your execution: Once your passion has been established, you must make a plan towards achieving your goal. It is especially important that you are very honest when doing this. Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. For example, if you are trying to work out more often, do not schedule your work out for 6:00am when you know you are definitely not a morning person. During this process, you want to make sure you think both short-term and long-term. I knew in order to get into law school, I would have to make sure my GPA was impressive. This meant giving priority to my studies over social events in undergrad. Make sure your plan lines up with your desired goal.

3. Pray: I definitely did not want to pursue my dreams without prayer and meditation. I commit the first few minutes of my day to spending time with God in order to make sure I am mentally ready to execute my plans for the day. “Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” (Proverbs 16:3)

4. Share your dreams: You definitely need support in order to accomplish your goals. Share your plans with your close friends and family. When they realize how determined you are to accomplish your goals, they will encourage and support you as needed. My family is my number one support group. When I started my masters program, I wanted to give up so many times but they wouldn’t let me. This was because I shared my dreams with them before I started the journey. Since they knew how passionate I was about my dream, they were able to remind me of my greatness during the rough moments.

5. Stay Committed: Congratulations! You made a plan to turn your dreams into a reality. Now you must remain committed to achieving your goal. It is going to be a long process and it will not be easy. In spite of the curve balls life throws at you, you must continue to persevere. Remember that you are filled with GREATNESS! Even though you fail, learn from your mistakes and keep growing.

How am I turning my dreams into a reality? Well, I am currently interning at a great law firm under the supervision of attorneys and paralegals who are super poppin’. I have so much I still need to learn but I will continue to BE ABOUT my passion!

Now it your turn. What dreams have you been sitting on? What if money was not an issue? What would you pursue? Are you gonna keep talking about it or will you be about it? Leave comments below!

Much love,








“Discover why you’re important, then refuse to settle for anyone who doesn’t completely agree.”- Fisher Amelie

Why do we believe singleness should be avoided like the plague? When I tell people I am single, I typically receive a pitiful reaction like I am supposed to be sad because I am not in a relationship. After I graduated college, the most common question I was asked was…“Why are you still single?” Eventually, I began to believe there was something wrong with me. This caused me to feel insecure and wonder if I was “too much of a woman” like a guy had once told me.

The answer is NO!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with me and my singleness has nothing to do with who I am as a person. I realized that I am too valuable, too important and lavishly loved to be worried about my relationship status. The problem with desperately desiring a relationship is that we lower our standards, which can result to a distorted view of ourselves. We are created to be individuals. This means that you are WHOLE all by yourself. I cringe every time I hear someone say, “I’m just looking for my other half.” There is no such thing as half a person. Even twins are considered individuals regardless of the similarities in their DNA.

The point is in order to thrive in life, you must focus on becoming the best version of yourself. This can be achieved by developing your character mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I have discovered that the best time to invest in yourself is when you are single. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, embrace the numerous hours you have and use that time to GROW!

In my singleness, here are a few things I practice in order to thrive:

“Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”- Galatians 5:22-23

  1. Love: Take time to practice self-love and extend that love to others. Through loving myself and accepting the love of God, I have the ability to share unconditional love with others.
  2. Joy: Do not allow your emotions to dictate your life. Take charge by choosing joy even when the circumstances are not favorable to your taste.
  3. Peace: This is a state of mind. In order to maintain a peaceful life, you must let go of your fears and worries. You cannot add a minute to your life by worrying. Practice gratitude instead of focusing on the negatives.
  4. Patience: Imagine how far we would go if we had the courage to wait. Develop the capacity to accept delay without accepting passivity. Even while you are waiting, you can gracefully enjoy every moment life has to offer.
  5. Kindness: This means dying to your selfish desires and extending generosity. Build solid friendships with a foundation founded on trust and warmth.
  6. Goodness: Embrace the essence of your being. You are created to be excellent. Find out what you enjoy doing and use your talents to create goodness. See Inspire Fire
  7. Faithfulness: In order to be faithful you must have the ability to trust and commit. I trust that God is faithful and He keeps His promises. This belief allows me to stay committed regardless of my situation.
  8. Gentleness: Although self-confidence is very important, be cautious of becoming conceited. Gentleness allows you to focus on humility even as you grow in confidence.
  9. Self-Control: This literally means to control oneself. Exercising self-control is extremely difficult since we are usually led by our selfish desires. Although I am still growing in this area, I have found that practicing self-control enables me to control my emotions and desires especially in difficult moments.

My dear readers, I encourage you to trust in the process and know that being single is not the end of the world. All seasons of life are valuable and essential for growth. I am single and I am living JOYFULLY! What about you? Are you wasting your singleness or are you investing in your character?

Much Love,


“I was never one who fits in. I’m six feet tall, dark-skinned..but I felt I could use it as an excuse to dress the way I wanted.”- Unknown

Have you ever thought of yourself as a master piece created for a unique purpose?

In fact, you are fearfully and wonderfully filled with greatness. See Psalm 139:14. Now, I must confess that I have not always believed this to be true. I am a 5’9″ dark-skinned woman who wears a shoe size 11. This does not fit the model our society perceives to be as beautiful. I was so desperate to fit in that I began to hunch just to appear shorter. I would try my best to not speak or engage in discussions in hopes that I would become invisible. As I write this, my heart breaks for my younger self. At the time, I did not understand how precious and beautiful I was even though my mother and sisters constantly affirmed my worth.

The summer before my freshman year of college, I went to a conference that changed my life and I finally decided I did not want to live a life in the shadows of this world’s definition of beauty. As I began my self-love journey, I decided to create my own definition of BEAUTY which is Becoming Educated, Artistic and Understanding Towards Yourself.

This definition focuses on:

a. Becoming. Understand the road to self-love is a life-long process. Growth takes time. You never plant a seed into the ground and expect it to grow overnight. In order for that seed to grow, you must faithfully position the seed in fertile ground where it can receive water and sunlight as needed. Just like a seed, you must place yourself in an environment that promotes growth. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to be the best version of yourself.

b. Educated. You cannot grow if you do not learn. I understand that college is expensive and not everyone has opportunity to learn through formal education. However, there are so many opportunities  for informal education. You could set a goal to read a personal development book every month, subscribe to an educational/inspirational YouTube channel or even just read great blog like this one! The point is in order to grow, you must make it a priority to fill your mind with truthful words.

c. Artistic. You are UNIQUE! Imagine how boring the world would be if we all looked alike and had the exact same talent. Diversity is a beautiful thing. We are created to be different and that is a GREAT thing. I encourage you to embrace your unique God-given talent. You might be thinking “I’m not good at anything.” I hear you! I used to believe I did not have a talent because I never actually tried to do anything. I finally decided I wanted to learn how to dance so I watched a few YouTube videos and started practicing. Today, I am a very competent dancer and I am still working on perfecting my skills!

d. Understanding Towards Yourself. There will be days when you look in the mirror and you do not “feel” beautiful. Well I have good news. Your beauty has nothing to do with the way you feel or look. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. Focus on falling in love with yourself by taking the time to learn about yourself.

It does not matter who you are! You too can redefine BEAUTY. This movement encourages women to deviate from society’s perverted view of beauty by “Becoming Educated Artistic and Understanding Towards Yourself.

It is a movement for women of all races, ethnicities, cultures, shapes and sizes.

So, what do I love about myself? I am an intelligent dark-skinned Nigerian beauty who loves to dance her heart out and laugh with the most joyful spirit! Now it’s your turn! What do you love about yourself?

Much Love,




It is a movement that encourages women to deviate from society’s perverted view of beauty by “Becoming Educated Artistic and Understanding Towards Yourself.”
It is a movement for women of all race, ethnicity, culture, shape and sizes!